Helliday
A holiday during which you are physically absent from work but mentally still on the rota, ruminating on emails you haven’t received yet. Submitted by Peter Brindley.
Topic
Life
A collection of 38 issues
Napsats
The need for infants and young children to sleep on oxygen saturations monitoring before discharge. Submitted by Mark Tighe.
Doctor
A title confidently used by dentists and professors when checking in for flights, and conspicuously avoided by medical practitioners keen not to be summoned mid-air for a “quick look”. Submitted by Peter Brindley.
Pagertide
The relentless rhythm of bleeps pulling you back again and again, no matter the hour.
Nightface
When the day team think you've just finished a night shift, but you haven't. Submitted by Anahita Sharma.
Reclinertia
The sinking feeling when the plans you’ve already set in motion slowly slither back into inertia despite your best efforts—so the same unresolved problem is waiting for you, unchanged, on the next ward round. Submitted by Nandika.
A meeting with Dr Brown
A convenient fiction deployed to suggest urgent professional collaboration, when in fact it is code for escaping to a quiet corner for a restorative cup of tea. Submitted by Peter Brindley.
Kinkpanic
The sudden surge of fear on spotting a kink in a vital line.
Remoaners
Remoaners
The doctor who constantly talks about retirement but never leaves. Submitted by Peter Brindley.
Stetho-nope
A doctor who never examines the patient. Submitted by Peter Brindley.