Handover Handwash
The ritualistic cleansing of responsibility at the start of a handover, heralded by the phrase: “I’ve only just met this patient so I know nothing about them, but . . ." Submitted by Sebastian Knudsen.
Topic
Moments
A collection of 28 issues
Wardfloat
That dissociated drift through a shift when you're running on fumes.
Poonami
That enormous bowel movement after days of opiate induced constipation. Submitted by Peter Brindley.
Necropsylinger
The subtle trace of the pathology suite that seems to follow you out long after you’ve left—an olfactory reminder of the answers uncovered within. Submitted by Dr Susannah Lillis.
Uro-detour
The moment you realise that, thanks to a switchboard mix-up, you’ve just spent five minutes trying to admit a patient with urinary retention to the neurology on-call team. Submitted by Jon Campbell.
Beepaphobia
The terror that the second you fall asleep your pager will go off. Hence you can't go to sleep. Submitted by Peter Brindley.
Beeperphantom
Hearing your pager go off when it has not.
Stethfluencer
A healthcare worker who can’t resist filming themselves in their car, blue scrub cap perched just so, stethoscope dangling like a stage prop, dispensing wisdom or drama to their front-facing camera. Often found in the wilds of TikTok and Instagram. Submitted by an Giacomo Virstinuc.
Oslershit
Where you disappear to toilet and think through a tricky patient problem. Submitted by Peter Brindley.
Panache
A cross between ache and panic. The feeling you get when you walk into a family meeting and suddenly remember you can’t think of the patients name you are about to talk about. Submitted by Sebastian Knudsen.