Handover Hum
The non-committal noise you emit while receiving a handover you do not remotely understand - before jogging briskly to the nearest computer to google every single word. Submitted by Sebastian Knudsen.
Topic
Moments
A collection of 52 issues
Chairtether
That brief sit-down you refuse to abandon even as alarms sound in the distance.
Handover Bluff
Also known as Ctrl-V Handover or The Emperor’s New Handover. When your entire handover consists of words copy-pasted from a screen, devoid of personal understanding, while you silently pray the recipient doesn’t tug too hard at the thin fabric of your borrowed knowledge. Submitted by Sebastian Knudsen.
Consultapalooza
When you open a chart to see every service in hospital has been called but none have properly engaged. Submitted by Peter Brindley.
Handover Handwash
The ritualistic cleansing of responsibility at the start of a handover, heralded by the phrase: “I’ve only just met this patient so I know nothing about them, but . . ." Submitted by Sebastian Knudsen.
Wardfloat
That dissociated drift through a shift when you're running on fumes.
Poonami
That enormous bowel movement after days of opiate induced constipation. Submitted by Peter Brindley.
Necropsylinger
The subtle trace of the pathology suite that seems to follow you out long after you’ve left—an olfactory reminder of the answers uncovered within. Submitted by Dr Susannah Lillis.
Uro-detour
The moment you realise that, thanks to a switchboard mix-up, you’ve just spent five minutes trying to admit a patient with urinary retention to the neurology on-call team. Submitted by Jon Campbell.
Beepaphobia
The terror that the second you fall asleep your pager will go off. Hence you can't go to sleep. Submitted by Peter Brindley.