Adrenodrive

Aftercrash

Airscope

The quiet mental rehearsal of an intubation while sizing up strangers in public.

Ampulash

Any-itis

How to concisely summarise immune checkpoint inhibitor toxicities that can affect any part of the body. Submitted by Dan Patterson.

Baftachat

A difficult meeting where you are forced to put on an award winning performance where you don't believe what you are forced to say. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Bagbreathe

The slow, rhythmic squeeze of an Ambu bag in the small hours.

Bedpull

The silent teamwork of moving a patient for the last time.

Beepaphobia

The terror that the second you fall asleep your pager will go off. Hence you can't go to sleep. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Beeperphantom

Hearing your pager go off when it has not.

Birthfumble

The mild humiliation of realising you forgot to book your own birthday off work.

Bleedline

The slow spread of red along gauze during a procedure, telling you more than the monitors do.

Bleepinertia

The resistance to agreeing to any unexpected requests to do work on a day you thought would be quiet. Submitted by Sebastian Knudsen.

Bloatocracy

The fact that admin keeps getting larger even though front line roster aren't. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Bluesink

The cold recognition of cyanosis creeping in.

Breathchase

Breathtwist

The way your own breathing changes when you realise something is very wrong.

Butterfly Approach

The act of using extraordinary gentleness — a lightness of tone, touch, or language — when delivering something heavy. Submitted by Carole Morgan.

Chairtether

That brief sit-down you refuse to abandon even as alarms sound in the distance.

Chartghost

Chartshroud

How a life is flattened into a few cold lines on a screen after death.

Chicago-no-hope

The service where everyone seems to be profoundly pessimistic. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Chopperholics

Doctors and nurses obsessed by helicopters despite the lack of evidence. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Clockdrag

The way the last 20 minutes of a shift stretch into an eternity.

Clotclick

The sticky sound when a clot finally clears from a suction tip.

Codeblur

Codestall

Standing at a secure ward door, blankly staring at the keypad, convinced youÕve forgotten the four digits that have been muscle memory since the start of your career.

Coldprep

The chilling swab of antiseptic before a painful procedure.

Consultacaller

A doctor who just calls others to manage things. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Consultapalooza

When you open a chart to see every service in hospital has been called but none have properly engaged. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

CPRspring

Crapuscular

Cupburn

The sting of a too-hot coffee gulped between bleeps, knowing it is the only one you will get all shift.

Cursorcrawl

Devastdiscernment

Diagnostristitia

Diagturn

The jolt when a colleague uncovers a new diagnosis in a patient you thought you understood.

Digitdread

The uniquely awkward, surreal feeling of a finger somewhere undignified during an exam.

Disilloosionment

Diurnausea

Dr.Hollywood

The one who is rarely in the building because of another conference or private list. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Dr.No

Always finds a reason not to help, not to admit, not to talk with a family. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Drainrush

The hot gush from a chest drain that tells you this is far from over.

Dylarchic

Describing the false sense of mastery over death that healthcare workers sometimes acquire — the illusion that with enough skill, no one should die.

Errisave

Exitcall

The pager going off just as you’re about to leave for the day.

Farsilence

The distant quiet you hear on a ward at 3 a.m., knowing it can shatter at any second.

Firstlight

Flatlinehum

The endless drone of a monitor stuck on one note.

Flawlessis

The rare, shimmering moment when a complex procedure unfolds exactly as planned.

Flumplify

When a small piece of creative wandering unexpectedly grows into something meaningful, lasting, or widely shared.

Ghost physician

They are still on the roster but nobody has seen in months. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Ghostround

Passing a bed where a patient should be, hours after they have died.

Glancecode

The silent exchange of looks between staff when things turn serious.

Glovelock

That flash of panic when you can’t get a glove off quickly.

Glubpop

The small, comic pop as a plastic glove peels away from your hand.

Gownsnap

The satisfying rip and shrug of removing a surgical gown.

Griefsplit

The fracture in your mind when trivial news follows a day of undeserved deaths.

Gurneyrun

Handover Bluff

Also known as Ctrl-V Handover or The Emperor’s New Handover. When your entire handover consists of words copy-pasted from a screen, devoid of personal understanding, while you silently pray the recipient doesn’t tug too hard at the thin fabric of your borrowed knowledge. Submitted by Sebastian Knudsen.

Handover Handwash

The ritualistic cleansing of responsibility at the start of a handover, heralded by the phrase: “I’ve only just met this patient so I know nothing about them, but . . ." Submitted by Sebastian Knudsen.

Handover Hum

The non-committal noise you emit while receiving a handover you do not remotely understand - before jogging briskly to the nearest computer to google every single word. Submitted by Sebastian Knudsen.

Heartdrop

The moment you feel the weight of bad news in your own chest before you speak it aloud.

Hospibrew

Insultants

Consultants who act as if they are a genius and everyone else a moron. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Lasttwenty

The warped stretch of time that turns the last 20 minutes of a shift into an epoch.

Lifespill

Liftwhisper

The hushed conversations in a lift after something terrible.

Linencross

Draping a sheet over a face for the last time.

Matronymosis

The strange flicker of tenderness and discomfort when a patient shares your mother’s name - as if care suddenly becomes personal, memory and medicine briefly overlapping.

Maybeists

Doctors who never state what should be done but rather 'you could do this' or 'you could do that'. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Mealwheel

Medical widow

The long suffering spouse of a neurosurgeon. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Medicine avec frontiers

The opposite of medicine sans frontiers or doctors without borders. Those services who just refuse to take a patient. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Microscopist

A doctor who would much rather be in the lab. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Morguequiet

Namefold

The way you mentally fold away a patient's name so it does't follow you home.

Ne plus ultra(sound)

The (fallacious) belief that the most important thing in medicine is to ultrasound something. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Nearmissium

The cold-hot relief of catching a near-disaster just in time.

Necropsylinger

The subtle trace of the pathology suite that seems to follow you out long after you’ve left—an olfactory reminder of the answers uncovered within. Submitted by Dr Susannah Lillis.

Nightwater

Nosit

Notewell

The quiet satisfaction of writing a set of notes so clear you know they will outlive you.

Obeepity

When your gut mutes the pager sound whilst leaning forward. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Oslershit

Where you disappear to toilet and think through a tricky patient problem. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Pagerdrop

The instant icy sink in your stomach when the cardiac arrest pager erupts.

Panache

A cross between ache and panic. The feeling you get when you walk into a family meeting and suddenly remember you can’t think of the patients name you are about to talk about. Submitted by Sebastian Knudsen.

Phlevue

Pixelhold

The breathless pause while an X-ray crawls onto the screen.

Plastisweat

Polytwaddle

Poonami

That enormous bowel movement after days of opiate induced constipation. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Pregnosis

Presencharge

Pretendoscope

The cheap and non-functional piece of stethoscope-shaped plastic ceremonially bestowed to allow us to pretend we might actually hear something other than our own disappointment. Submitted by Sebastian Knudsen.

Publishitis

The compulsive urge to turn every passing clinical thought, observation, or half-baked idea into a paper. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Remoaners

Remoaners The doctor who constantly talks about retirement but never leaves. Submitted by Peter Brindley.

Rosterosis

The creeping malaise that sets in when the new rota drops into your inbox and you immediately start bargaining with your future self.

Scalpshadow

The faint line of dryness where a scrub cap has pressed all day.